"Wetlands" Pastel over Watercolor
“Show up, show up, and after a while the muse shows up.” Isabel Allende
Well, I hope so. I need her. I forgot that “No” was a complete sentence and said yes. Now I am on overload! I looked around my studio, which has gotten to be too crowded, and I am working in a 4' square space. I am framing, putting coats of poly on some paintings, trying to add a lighter value in an unfinished piece, while trying to add texture to another. I have no place to put anything. Now I decided I needed a break from my chaos, and I am sharing my situation with you. I am sure some of you have been here. I just keep reminding myself it is of my own making. I said ok, yes. I also know when I walk back in my studio, I must rectify the chaos!.
I can’t change my obligations, but I can organize my studio better to accommodate all that needs doing. Unfortunately, all that needs doing is not all in the studio, a lot is on the computer, which is not always my best companion.
I am almost thankful it is still hot and humid, and I have a legitimate reason not to be taking care of the garden. I don’t have to water for one. “Mother Nature” is doing more than is needed. The weeds are happy at least. I rationalize that if they get taller, they will be easier to pull. It’s the bushes that I worry about. I can’t reach the top! The garden is for another day. however. It’s bound to cool off soon and by then, my studio situation may be resolved along with some other things.
But the muse…I need her. I was working on a painting for an upcoming show. When I took out my collage paper and laid it out, I was very excited. I loved what I saw happening. Then I worked and worked and when I stood back it was nothing like I laid out. The bottom ¾ was a torso. With a screaming red, pink and orange back ache, a stiff hip with hard lines, a bulging knee, (I just had gel injections) and a twisted arthritic ankle. On the right were two people. One head was jumbled and full of stuff and in front a calm stoic person. If you get in the “zone” you paint what is inside. That is what I aim for. It's usually the peace and tranquil love of nature. Not there this week!
I am at the point of critiquing and refining, and I don’t feel the composition is rectifiable. I hate the feeling I get when I look at it. I seldom discard work. I work over. But I really feel it would be cathartic to give this the heave ho into the trash. Symbolically, I would be throwing away my irritation over my overloaded situation and my back ache. I need to take a walk in nature to calm my brain, find my muse, and start again in a sense of calm and in an organized studio.
I think the painting taught me a good lesson however. It made me see that I need to remember, “No” is a complete sentence. I have reached an age when I need to set my priorities and not feel guilty when I know I should say NO!
“The first step to success is knowing your priorities”. Aspesh
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